2021/10/26 week07 Differences in Manners.

 Differences in Manners.

    

    I am sure that all of us were raised in certain ways. We were taught from a young age that this is the way you should behave in public, how to conduct yourself towards the opposite sex, your peers, those older/younger than you and hundreds of different situations. All of these are the manners that we were raised with. Like many other aspects of life, these vary from culture to culture.

    When I started to travel and live abroad I always found it interesting to see how we all differed in what we considered correct manners. I remember waiting to board buses or the subway. At first I would stand back, let the woman and elderly go first, while everyone else just pushed and made sure that they got on the bus. A few times I would even wait for a different bus to arrive, this was easy as they came almost every five minutes. After a short while I realized that while my heart was in the right place, in a city of millions it just was not practical to wait for every woman or elderly person to get on the bus before me. While I never pushed people p]out of my way like some did, I learnt to to move with the crowd and get on the first bus I could.

    Another aspect that baffled me at first in China was not giving tips at restaurants. In my home country, tips are what ensure waiters can survive, as the basic pay is very bad. I was shocked to find it was an insult to offer one.

    When you walk through the streets in China you will see people spitting and hacking up big globs of phlegm. I cringed at this and could not understand how they could do it, it was so gross! After living there for a while and being exposed to the horrid pollution that passed as air, I soon started having excess of phlegm in my lungs as well and soon realized why everyone needed to spit it out all the time. What I considered rude had just been practicality on their part.

    So many other situations have arisen in my life like this, not only with Chinese people but, from all different cultures! I remember eating with a group of Americans at one of their homes, I was used to waiting for woman and children to get their food first, then the men go. It surprised me to see everyone go together and for men to dish up for themselves before helping their children or leaving the woman to take care of all the children by themselves. For me no man would get food for himself before ensuring his family was taken care of. In hindsight this came from a mindset where their wasn't always enough food, so the men would go without if needed, for many other cultures food scarcity is not an issue, so they don't comprehend a situation where not everyone might be able to eat. 

    Living in China is what really opened me to the idea that different does not mean bad. I also learnt that in some countries my idea of what manners should be would leave me in a severe disadvantage. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you not sure what to do, then look for a group of locals and copy what they are doing. While as a foreigner locals will show understanding and make allowances for differences this is not always the case, especially in more isolated or traditional places.

    When interacting with other who differ to us, keep an open mind, if they insult you somehow through their actions, treat them with patience and if needed show them the correct way to behave, tolerance bridges far more gaps than a critical mind ever will.